Untitled...

I'm losing it again,my control is slipping out of my hands,
these tears that can't be stopped by a simple deman.

I feel like I'm being pulled into the darkness,
not thinking twice about my words and actions.
Slowly,the world I built from scratch is crumbling,
never getting to the point of perfection.

I love my Christian so very much,
every thing he does counts,every gentle,loving touch.
I love how he says "I love you,Angel" and
looks deeply into my eyes.
I yearn fo his trust and love everyday,
hoping there will be no doubt and lies.

But I screwed up again
and this time I know you don't trust me.
Making you worried all night long,
I guess I acted without thinking.

I feel like I shouldn't be forgiven,
even though I have always been faithful to you.
I guess saying sorry will never be enough,
not enough to be truly forgiven;
now I feel like out relationship is going rough.

I said I'll call you back,but I never did.
How could I have don that to you?
I feel like a black rose,slowly dying inside,
now I'm not a sweet flower in bloom.

I just hope you know that your the only one,
the only one who holds my heart;
trusting you not to tear it apart.

I love you;
I love you;
I love you Christian,
I love you now,there is no never.

I feel like I can't look you in the eyes anymore,
afraid of seeing the distrust and doubt there.
Now our relationship is going through rough edges,
never having a minute for eachother to spare.

I don't want us to get distant,
I don't know if I can let you go.
Just wanting to hold you in my arms and comfort you,
it feels like my heartbeat is slow.

Everyday were full of sighs and thoughts,
where has my Christian gone?

I don't want us to pull apart,
I don't think I can make it though life without you.
I want to make all our stress to disappear,
but ofcourse I'm merely just a human being.

Your voice feels so far away from where I'm at,
there is always a bad silence between us;
making me think your not there at all.
Now your suffering because of me,
so much weight to carry by yourself,
please let me help you.

I just hope you know I'll always be your Guardian Angel no matter what...


By: Angelica Mendiola
Reason: I screwed up and now I'm messing things up again...not forgived...
Note: Whenever it's a random and long poem,it never has a title.
Date:04-26-09

You Loved A Fake Figure...

You loved what you once loved;
You lost something that meant something to you.

Don't go into the dark corners of your heart;
do not shed tears,there is nothing to fear,there are people
here to keep you from draining tears,I will be here to
suffer what you are dying for now...

You see a person;
You see a figure;
You see your brother's face;
but it fades away and you follow,but it was fake...

You see his actions,it ain't an ordinary fraction,from
Algebra 1-10 you are willing to defend and defend
on a fake figure which you once followed.

I am sorry for your sadness,I am sorry for your deceived
and agonizing moments in your sad little eyes;don't think
you and I are telling such lies,but I will never
do that in a life time,I promise in my words
of Sanity,and hope it won't be foolish or to be
pointless to run into Insanity.

But you will get over it,just don't think of it as a habit,just
live your life and be with someone you never followed...
Your eyes will heal hoping you will never see a fake figure
you once loved.


By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW
Mood: Feeling sorry and hoping...
To: Marshall Manglona
Date: 04/19/09

No Matter What...

No matter how many times she shouted at me,

I still spoke to her gently with love.


No matter how many times she hit,

I still had the strength to say "I Love You." to her.


No matter how much pain she caused me,

I still had the courage to make her happy and laugh.


No matter how many times she wiped

the smile off my faceby her harsh words,

I still looked in her in the eyes and make her smile.


No matter how many times she pushed me away,

I still held onto her tightly.


No matter how many times she said:

"I wish you were never born!",

I still thank her for giving me life and will

always love her as my mother...

No matter what...


By: Angelica Mendiola
Mood: sad and lonely/grounded....
Date: 04/05/09
For: My mother Soledad

HOw Is It LiKe To Die AlOnE...

Everyday I will always call you just to let you know I am alive and still loving...

Sometime around you wonder why I am sad and crying for no apparent reason;

You wonder why am I crying;

Why is this happening;

Why must one suffer with tears and sighing?

Why haven't you call for weeks and let me know whats going wrong?

The next day you did not see me, you wonder why there are people crying police Driving by heading to my house, you went and check it out, knowing that I was missing...

You run to my mom and told her to drop you to marpi as quick as you can get there...

When you got to the suicide cliff you see me sitting on the rail,

You called my name and I looked back and saw you and my mom looking at me;

I called you over and you sat next to me, and while my mom was screaming at me to get off and I told her to stop before I jump...

You are speechless and I looked into your eyes wondering why you came here and You have some reason why you are sitting here with me.

I pushed you back of the rail behind me and I jumped without you...

I fell alone not letting you know how I felt when I died alone.

This Words you read are just lies, do not wonder through your mind "why did you write this..."

Because I will answer this was my nightmare last year.

By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW

World And Starvation Cries...

This world is full of hatred,

our honor that was once sacred.


All over the world are so many cries,

everyone here and there full of sighs.


There is not one person with one fear,

every one of them spilling tears.


They shout things at each other that are truly mean,

making a war full of sorrow that would last for eternity.


You wonder why there are people like that existing,

your thoughts always persisting.


If only the power of love can overcome the love of power.


Second by second,minute by minute,hour by hour,

day by day,week by week,month by month,year by year,

sigh by sigh,cry by cry,tear by tear.


There is always a mystery when it comes to life,

always wondering how to spend time.


They murder innocent children,

when will it all end?

So many pray to Him in sorrow and pain,

raining,raining,raining, someone will be stabbed by a blade.


Someone dies,someone dies,someone dies;

by the act of suicide,suicide,suicide.


So much pressure in their hearts,

slowly their soul is being pulled apart.


The Unforgiven is praying for Forgiveness;

so many out there full of bitterness...


By:Angelica Mendiola
Mood:Bored and thoughtful...

"I'm Sorry"

As life goes on;
starting to learn more and more about responsibility,
and I realized what I've done is affecting you love for me.
I'm sorry for the times that I left home
I'm sorry if I did not call home.
I'm sorry for the times I did not know
when you are waiting for me at home...

I'm sorry for the times I would regret;
I'm sorry that I disrespect;
I am sorry for the things I've done;
I am sorry for the wrong thing that had come.

I just hope that my Sorry would just help;
just thinking of how you felt;
just wondering why I've done this to you.
I'm Sorry...
I rather feel sorrow and pain,rather than just die.


By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW
Mood: sorry and not forgiven...
Date:4/4/09

Smile Today,Cry Tonight.

Every day and all the time, I can't stop thinking of you,
I am addicted to you so deeply,and I can't live without you.

I can't miss a day to spend time with you.
I can't breath by myself,I can't stand by my own,
you hold me all the time,and I always will depend
on you in every moment you give to me.

I smile now and for every day light God gives me.
At night I am hopeless,unless you hold me for the
rest of my life.
I cry at night,when you leave and say good-bye.
I sigh all the time when I see you go bye bye.
I will wait,and will smile the next day.


By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe LiVeD sOrRoW
Mood: lonely and bored
Date: 4/11/09

Live A Life,Die Happy...

I lived a life which changed my vision from the world today,
I lived a life which teared in sorrow,
I lived a life which I was proud of;
I lived and died for a moment...
I came back to life and see the world once more...
I lived this life and see it now in sorrow and
sadness put together with depression leading the pain...
I lived a life which shatter my dreams;
I lived a life and rather die Happy;
Rather than see haters smiling when I cry...
I lived a life and dies happy.

By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW
Mood: thinking of death...
Date: When I was 13 years old
Secret Poem Found....

Life Chance Was Not A Dream

I had a dream;
I dreamed of kissing you over the sea,
thinking it will never be,and will never be a
dream without you being what you were meant to be.
I see you;
I loved you;
I will be here for you.
I will love unless you kiss me goodbye,when I go home,
and remember the time we first met,and I will
keep you in my mind for the rest of my life

The day I was brought into the world and the world
was touched with a new footprint which was me
who stood on it.

I lived a life that was a nightmare,realizing I was
causing the pain my life,and have driven my self to hell.

I made things backfire,
I made this a reminder.

I had a dream the other year,
It showed me what was my future,so I stepped
forward in my life and saw you in my life...
Life,Death,Sorrow,Sadness,and Tears were just
a imagination; Life Chance was not a Dream,
I tell you...


By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW

Blinded from the world...

Blinded from all beings,

Not knowing the world which once a vision where there were human beings;

Can't live without a sight;

Can't go on without a fight;

There is no reason to decide;

There is no reason to disagree with the things you did not do or have done;

You rather run away far from gone...

You think of waffles, you think you can shuffle, but you wonder and wonder why you are so troubled.

You are blind, you are denied from the worlds wonder of passion.

Good luck for the people who are blind... wish a happy life and still breathing.


By: Christian Manzanares
Productions: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW

ShE sMiLeS sO bRiGhT aS aN AnGeL iN tHe NiGhT!

My Poem...
How can she always carry a smile?
Cheerful and joyous all the while?
So happy a face, unknown to pains,Not a dream that I see,
but a face in sight
Like a blooming rose,
so lovely and bright,
Giving me hope for the unknown tomorrow,
As a silver lining in the clouds of sorrow.
Soothing my summers like showers of rains.
A photo, they say, is lifeless and stale,
Can't hear or speak, cant move as well,
yet close to my heart as it hangs at an end,
The memories it carries, are real, my friend.

By:Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW

What I love About You!

I love the way you look at me,

Your eyes so bright and brown.


I love the way you kiss me,

Your lips so soft and smooth.


I love the way you make me so happy,

And the ways you show you care.


I love the way you say, "I Love You,"

And the way you're always there.


I love the way you touch me,

Always sending chills down my spine.


I love that you are with me,

And glad that you are mine.



By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe liVEd iN SoRrOw

Just Say I Love You

I love you for the things you done for me.

I love you for the thoughts you brought to me,

I love you for the feelings you laid down on me.

I thank you so much for loving me.

You realized my tears and heart broke down so you know I needed you.

I'd do anything to have you and I will die even for the last touch of your love next to me.

I would suffer a painful death between the demons and dark, but will never let go of your soft loving heart.

I would parish a thousand years of painful cuttings and painful beating but will never let go of your love and it's beading.

I love you...You know that It's true... You know that it's not a lie....You know that I would cry just to see you one last time....I love you, I really do.

By Christian Manzanares
Production:OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW
For: Close Friends

Emotional Feelings

She cries to sleep;

Her feelings are deep and buried alive with sorrow and love sick.

Her thoughts and feelings are locked away in a safe, and is hidden within the
closet seeking for revenge.

Her faith faded away in the cold depths of her mind.

Her thoughts and feelings fills up with sadness each time.

She thinks of love, but can't escape death;

She sighs all the time just thinking suicide which she might sometime.

She glanced up seeing a man, who looked like a enemy of her's;

he beats her with his cold blooded hands until she reached coma....

Hours past and finally she awakens seeing her true love holding her in his
arms,she realized her emotional thoughts and tears were just a dream.


By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe livEd iN sOrRoW

PrOmIsEs MaDe

Yesterday's goals dim memories,

Dark saddened eyes blurring with tears,

Painful scars borne Love's history,

Futures crumble when doubt appears,

No brightly lit hope envisioned,

When following after harsh words,

Hurt soul splits in twain partitioned,

Swooned by appeal when numbness lured.

Apologies made never bought,

Price paid turned out far too costly,

Though never known what would be wrought
Must walk into the night softly.

One wish only to be released,

Granted now receive this token,

Words written in rhyme love's deceased,

When promises are made . . . were broken.

by: CHRISTIAN MANZANARES
production: OnCe LiVed iN sOrroW

I'll Let The World Know

I'll make your words a voice.
I'll make your dreams a true story.
I'll make your thoughts come to life.
I'll let your feelings be reviled.
I'll let your bad thoughts disappear.
I'll let your crimes just fade.
I'll let your tears fall on my shoulder.
I'll let the world know I love you.
I'll let the people know that you are not alone.
I'll let them know,that haters won't ruin our friendship.
I'll tell them that they just wasted their life time.

By: Christian Manzanares
"OnCeD LiVeD"

How it feels like to be Alone

I am alone,
so very alone

I hurt,
so very bad

I am ignored,
just thrown aside

I am security,
for others to have

I am lonely,

there is no one close,
no one see's the pain

I cry,
hope is gone

I am alone,
and no one knows.

By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCeD LiVeD iN SoRrOw

SlOw TeArS

I look up
as a tear rolls slowly
down my cheek
I think about better days
and wonder if I'll feel that way again
you look at me
with those eyes I know so well
always serious,always deep and insightful
as though you're always in control
But not today
not now
Now you look so scared
like for once you don't know the answer
I gaze at you
looking deep into those brown eyes
hoping to understand
why you've said those things you did
I wonder for a moment
if this is all a dream
if I shall wake in the morning
and be relieved
and you look at me
with a confusion I have never seen
slowly pull me towards you
and wipe the tears from my cheek.

By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCeD LiVeD iN SoRrOw

My Dream...

The sun sets
Upon the golden sand,
We sit togther
hand in hand.

We gently embrace
and look into eachother's eyes,
I wonder if you are
An Angel in disguise

You hold me
like there's no tomorrow.
I suddenly forget
The past sorrow.

I kiss your soft lips
and you kiss mine.
I never knew
Loving someone could by this fine.

You pick me up
and carry me to our room.
Oh how a love can blossom
and a heart can bloom.

Your touch is so gentle,
but your hands are so strong.
How could a love like this
ever go wrong?

My heart is beating
200 times a minute.
Because my love,
you are in it.

The sound of your heartbeat
throughout the night.
We fall asleep in eachother's arms
and wake to the morning light.

I look into your eyes
and this is when
I say "Thank You."
For teaching me to love again.

By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCeD LiVeD iN SoRrOw

Dedicated for: Angel M.

Cold Blooded

My blood is cold,
My heart is warm,

I have no fear of the lifeless beating sadness in our heart.

My blood is cold,
My heart is warm,

I have sadness in my eyes,
Tears dropping down my cheeks like sharpened blades.

I hate the light,
not no more am I right.

You appear out of the dark moon light;
Coming down slowly on my direction,
Seeing you by my side,with a smile which changed my life.

By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW

Remember remember the 11th of September

I prayed, they prayed the same,

just to see if God was still there by our side.

Searching hospital to hospital, carrying pictures of the missing,

acts of sacrifice inside the world trade center,

there was death to remember...


A priest a beloved priest died giving the last rites to a firefighter in his sight.

Two office workers struggle, rumble under the smoke looking for a disabled

person,

carried that person sixty floors to snuggle for the last morning struggle.

Americans showed a deep commitment to one another, and abiding love for each other.

Our unity is a kinship of grief, and a stead fast resolve to prevail against our belief.

Remembrance and prayer, and Jesus is our savior.


By: Christian Manzanares

Production: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW

Sore Blood... (Old Poem)

They die, we sigh,

we have sorrow in our eyes.

The tears of pain,

the tears of joy, we felt the tears and blades,and

we had no feeling.

The joy and happiness, the joy of love...

I shall hug the one I once loved.

Roses are blood, violets are blue tears,

all had suffered in the depths of fear.

Some sang the joy to this world.



My blood rained when the bullet had drilled.

Struck my heart I was drowning in blood faster than her heart beat had stop.

I was drowning in pain, no one can say how painful it was when a bullet was laid

in my heart and blood...

I died Yesterday.


By: Christian Manzanares

Production: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW