"I Grew Up Too F***ing Fast!" Main title: "Fast Lane"

“Fast-Lane”

I was born with this curse ever since birth!

I never expected things to get worse!

I grew up a messed up screw up, struggle in so many troubles that kept me in a bubble.

Mama said never mumble and let words crumble, but I let it slip away in a bigger problem.

Now it tumbles like a tumble weed in a desert siege, now dusted away you cannot see.

I was 12 and close to being 13 almost a qualified teen to become and be.

This is the only beginning of life I'll be living in, sleeping, eating, and dying in...

Things do get frightening when people started lying to me about everything,

Tooth fairies of being real found out at 14 it was just a fairy tale.

Now I am seeing the true meaning of growing up and I cannot stop.

It was hard to see what mama had to go through to feed me,

And be that tear drop every time her pills pop,

She eats them up just to stay calm and not beat me up.

Times were rough mom even I wanted to take that gun and slip a finger and pull the trigger.

I’m getting older and taller mama.

Did I just get colder?

Making you stop leaning on my shoulders when daddy hits you like a bull dozer.

I know it’s sad and I just wish we kept it in a folder and have a holder keep these in jars and put away far, so we don’t have to trip over, and go over the past that wasn’t supposed to be remembered.

Oh man, the weight of the load on my shoulders gets heavier than ever, every time I bump into obstacles

And let things burn away like charcoal, now left in ashes and passion seems to escape every time a chance passes.

I’m sorry for what I have become.

A monster I have become and mama just burst into rage, she just flipped my page and shut my chapter book in a cage.

She told me when she found me smoking and said this isn’t how I was raised,

But I knew what I was doing and I understood the prices I’ll be paying and

The consequences I’ll be facing and the 8 mile road I’ll be walking with both feet pacing.

Mama… Sometimes I think you’re very crazy but not as crazy as auntie Daisy.

I know it’s shaming and disgracing when I never listen to you talking and lecturing,

You knew and I knew the reason why you were saying this and that just to get the weight off my back.

I take back everything I said to you and I will never leave you when I’m 18 and more to be coming.

I hate growing up… I used to be the best son mama ever had; now it’s a shame that I did this in the past, and now I wish I didn’t rush things so fast to better understand.          

 By: Ink-less