Untitled...

I'm losing it again,my control is slipping out of my hands,
these tears that can't be stopped by a simple deman.

I feel like I'm being pulled into the darkness,
not thinking twice about my words and actions.
Slowly,the world I built from scratch is crumbling,
never getting to the point of perfection.

I love my Christian so very much,
every thing he does counts,every gentle,loving touch.
I love how he says "I love you,Angel" and
looks deeply into my eyes.
I yearn fo his trust and love everyday,
hoping there will be no doubt and lies.

But I screwed up again
and this time I know you don't trust me.
Making you worried all night long,
I guess I acted without thinking.

I feel like I shouldn't be forgiven,
even though I have always been faithful to you.
I guess saying sorry will never be enough,
not enough to be truly forgiven;
now I feel like out relationship is going rough.

I said I'll call you back,but I never did.
How could I have don that to you?
I feel like a black rose,slowly dying inside,
now I'm not a sweet flower in bloom.

I just hope you know that your the only one,
the only one who holds my heart;
trusting you not to tear it apart.

I love you;
I love you;
I love you Christian,
I love you now,there is no never.

I feel like I can't look you in the eyes anymore,
afraid of seeing the distrust and doubt there.
Now our relationship is going through rough edges,
never having a minute for eachother to spare.

I don't want us to get distant,
I don't know if I can let you go.
Just wanting to hold you in my arms and comfort you,
it feels like my heartbeat is slow.

Everyday were full of sighs and thoughts,
where has my Christian gone?

I don't want us to pull apart,
I don't think I can make it though life without you.
I want to make all our stress to disappear,
but ofcourse I'm merely just a human being.

Your voice feels so far away from where I'm at,
there is always a bad silence between us;
making me think your not there at all.
Now your suffering because of me,
so much weight to carry by yourself,
please let me help you.

I just hope you know I'll always be your Guardian Angel no matter what...


By: Angelica Mendiola
Reason: I screwed up and now I'm messing things up again...not forgived...
Note: Whenever it's a random and long poem,it never has a title.
Date:04-26-09

You Loved A Fake Figure...

You loved what you once loved;
You lost something that meant something to you.

Don't go into the dark corners of your heart;
do not shed tears,there is nothing to fear,there are people
here to keep you from draining tears,I will be here to
suffer what you are dying for now...

You see a person;
You see a figure;
You see your brother's face;
but it fades away and you follow,but it was fake...

You see his actions,it ain't an ordinary fraction,from
Algebra 1-10 you are willing to defend and defend
on a fake figure which you once followed.

I am sorry for your sadness,I am sorry for your deceived
and agonizing moments in your sad little eyes;don't think
you and I are telling such lies,but I will never
do that in a life time,I promise in my words
of Sanity,and hope it won't be foolish or to be
pointless to run into Insanity.

But you will get over it,just don't think of it as a habit,just
live your life and be with someone you never followed...
Your eyes will heal hoping you will never see a fake figure
you once loved.


By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW
Mood: Feeling sorry and hoping...
To: Marshall Manglona
Date: 04/19/09

No Matter What...

No matter how many times she shouted at me,

I still spoke to her gently with love.


No matter how many times she hit,

I still had the strength to say "I Love You." to her.


No matter how much pain she caused me,

I still had the courage to make her happy and laugh.


No matter how many times she wiped

the smile off my faceby her harsh words,

I still looked in her in the eyes and make her smile.


No matter how many times she pushed me away,

I still held onto her tightly.


No matter how many times she said:

"I wish you were never born!",

I still thank her for giving me life and will

always love her as my mother...

No matter what...


By: Angelica Mendiola
Mood: sad and lonely/grounded....
Date: 04/05/09
For: My mother Soledad

HOw Is It LiKe To Die AlOnE...

Everyday I will always call you just to let you know I am alive and still loving...

Sometime around you wonder why I am sad and crying for no apparent reason;

You wonder why am I crying;

Why is this happening;

Why must one suffer with tears and sighing?

Why haven't you call for weeks and let me know whats going wrong?

The next day you did not see me, you wonder why there are people crying police Driving by heading to my house, you went and check it out, knowing that I was missing...

You run to my mom and told her to drop you to marpi as quick as you can get there...

When you got to the suicide cliff you see me sitting on the rail,

You called my name and I looked back and saw you and my mom looking at me;

I called you over and you sat next to me, and while my mom was screaming at me to get off and I told her to stop before I jump...

You are speechless and I looked into your eyes wondering why you came here and You have some reason why you are sitting here with me.

I pushed you back of the rail behind me and I jumped without you...

I fell alone not letting you know how I felt when I died alone.

This Words you read are just lies, do not wonder through your mind "why did you write this..."

Because I will answer this was my nightmare last year.

By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW

World And Starvation Cries...

This world is full of hatred,

our honor that was once sacred.


All over the world are so many cries,

everyone here and there full of sighs.


There is not one person with one fear,

every one of them spilling tears.


They shout things at each other that are truly mean,

making a war full of sorrow that would last for eternity.


You wonder why there are people like that existing,

your thoughts always persisting.


If only the power of love can overcome the love of power.


Second by second,minute by minute,hour by hour,

day by day,week by week,month by month,year by year,

sigh by sigh,cry by cry,tear by tear.


There is always a mystery when it comes to life,

always wondering how to spend time.


They murder innocent children,

when will it all end?

So many pray to Him in sorrow and pain,

raining,raining,raining, someone will be stabbed by a blade.


Someone dies,someone dies,someone dies;

by the act of suicide,suicide,suicide.


So much pressure in their hearts,

slowly their soul is being pulled apart.


The Unforgiven is praying for Forgiveness;

so many out there full of bitterness...


By:Angelica Mendiola
Mood:Bored and thoughtful...

"I'm Sorry"

As life goes on;
starting to learn more and more about responsibility,
and I realized what I've done is affecting you love for me.
I'm sorry for the times that I left home
I'm sorry if I did not call home.
I'm sorry for the times I did not know
when you are waiting for me at home...

I'm sorry for the times I would regret;
I'm sorry that I disrespect;
I am sorry for the things I've done;
I am sorry for the wrong thing that had come.

I just hope that my Sorry would just help;
just thinking of how you felt;
just wondering why I've done this to you.
I'm Sorry...
I rather feel sorrow and pain,rather than just die.


By: Christian Manzanares
Production: OnCe LiVeD iN sOrRoW
Mood: sorry and not forgiven...
Date:4/4/09